Conflict Today

Should I envy those who work 9-5?Should I envy those who work in the office?Should I envy those who can have ample time of sleep?

Should I assume that getting to work in the female ward is a blessing to be able to learn to work harder?or should I take it as entering another hell?Should I envy those who has real friends?

Today,was a blessing in the earlier part of the day because mother crab wasn't around.When it came towards the end,it wasn't a blessing anymore.No one wanted to help me do a peritoneal tap.

And the patient irritates the hell out of me.Telling me how many fluids he wanted me to take out.Telling how to do a procedure just because he has undergone it 3 times.Comparing me with another housemen.Wide-eyed when I told him I just worked for 2 months plus.When the-so-great housemen is also my batch.
Being human,I totally lost my patience.
He's still alive.Don't worry.

Time waits for no one

Look at the date..
Honestly,I almost gave up on blogging.Due to time constraint.Many things happened during this past 2 months.

Currently I am posted in Melaka.Some place where's there's more life than Kangar.According to most people.But I find it dead in many ways.Maybe it takes time to blend it.Maybe the work and responsibility that I'm facing made it harder to see things around me clearly.Maybe I have changed.Either ways..I'm still alive and still feeling trapped.Like there's a permanent noose around my neck.

Sooo many times I considered a transfer.Like I would get one.But no matter where I go,the problem would still be the same.A housemen life...You don't see the sun when you go to work,and you don't see the sun when you're coming back from work.

I've been in the same ward for 2 months.They are changing me into a new ward on the 25th.My current ward has a bad combination of bosses.(except one nice MO).And I'm entering another lioness den on the 25th.Should I say a string of bad luck?Or a string of chances for me to prove that I am capable in working under pressure?

So many insecurities are hitting at me at once and many times I got hit hard.