I.M.P.O.S.S.I.B.L.E

I remember years ago
Someone told me I should take
Caution when it comes to loveI did, I did
And you were strong and I was not
My illusion, my mistake
I was careless,
I forgot
I did

And now when all is done
There is nothing to say
You have gone and so effortlessly
You have won
You can go ahead tell them

Tell them all I know now
Shout it from the roof top
Write it on the sky love
All we had is gone now
Tell them I was happy
And my heart is broken
All my scars are open
Tell them what I hoped would be
Impossible, impossible
Impossible, impossible

Falling out of love is hard
Falling for betrayal is worst
Broken trust and broken hearts
I know, I know

Thinking all you need is there
Building faith on love is worst
Empty promises will wearI know (i know)
And know when all is gone
There is nothing to say
And if you're done with embarrassing me
On your own you can go ahead tell them

Tell them all I know now
Shout it from the roof top
Write it on the sky love
All we had is gone now
Tell them I was happy
And my heart is broken
All my scars are open
Tell them what I hoped would be

Impossible, impossible
Impossible, impossible
Impossible, impossible
Impossible, impossible
Impossible, impossible

I remember years ago
Someone told me I should take
Caution when it comes to love
I did, I did

When I Look At You

I always thought Nick Sparks writing was a bit boring..Kinda heavy and mellow.Situations you would never want to be in,however happened in reality.Some can even relate to my life.

Currently after reading this book,I'm addicted to his books.

Everybody needs inspiration,

Everybody needs a song

A beautiful melody

When the nights so long

Cause there is no guarantee

That this life is easy...

Yea when my world is falling apart

When there's no light to break up the dark

That's when I, I...I look at you

When the waves

Are flooding the shore and I can't

Find my way home anymore

That's when I, I...I look at you

When I look At You

I see forgiveness

I see the truth

You love me for who I am

Like the stars

Hold the moon

Right there where they belong

And I Know I'm Not Alone.

Yea when my world is falling apart

When there's no light to break up the dark

That's when I, I...I look at you

When the wavesAre flooding the shore

and I can'tFind my way home anymore

That's when I, I...I look at you

You appear just like a dream to me

Just like Kaleidoscope colors that

Cover Me,

All I need every

Breath that I breathe don't you know

You're beautiful...Yea Yea Yea

When the wavesAre flooding the shore

and I can'tFind my way home anymore

That's when I, I...I look at you

I look at you

Yea Yea Oh OH OH

And you appear Just like a dreamTo me.

I Don't Believe You

I don't mind it
I don't mind at all
It's like you're the swing set
And I'm the kid that falls
It's like the way we fight
The times I've cried
We come to blows
And every night
The passion's there
So it's got to be right
Right?

No I don't believe you
When you say don't come around here no more
I won't remind you
You said we wouldn't be apart
No I don't believe you
When you say you don't need me anymore
So don't pretend to
Not love me at all

I don't mind it
I still don't mind at all
It's like one of those bad dreams
When you can't wake up
It looks like you've given up
You've had enough
But I want more
No I won't stop
Because I just know
You'll come around
Right?

No I don't believe you
When you say don't come around here no more
I won't remind you
You said we wouldn't be apart
No I don't believe you
When you say you don't need me anymore
So don't pretend to
Not love me at all

Just don't stand there and watch me fall
Because I, because I still don't mind at all
It's like the way we fight
The times I've cried
We come to blows
And every night
The passion's there
So it's got to be right,Right?

No I don't believe you
When you say don't come around here no more
I won't remind you
You said we wouldn't be apart
No I don't believe you
When you say you don't need me anymore
So don't pretend to
Not love me at all
I don't believe you

Location: Doctor's pantry in General OT

An orthopaedic surgeon walked in into the pantry while a housemen was sitting quietly,alone having her lunch.

Orthopaedic surgeon: Apa masalah ko ha?
Housemen : (appeared startled)Huh?(aku salah buat kerja ke ape???nak explaination letter lagi ke?)
Orthopaedic surgeon: Aku nampak ko macam bermasalah je sejak kebelakangan ini....
Housemen : Ye ke??
Orthopaedic surgeon: Ko rindu mak bapak ko ke?tak jumpe diorang ke?
Housemen :(confused)Err...esok balik la jumpa mak...
Orthopaedic surgeon: Aku nampak ko muram je..
Housemen :(obvious sangat ke?..jeng..jeng..ade gak orang perhati,sejuk hati!)

Dim Light

I was half running half walking..I saw my boyfriend walking ahead of me..I could only see the back of his head.I called out his name,he didn't turn back.Either he couldn't hear me or simply ignored me.

It started to rain.And there were lots of other pedestrian walking around me.I hate when my shoes got wet,squeshy when it rains.There were still a lot of people around me.I don't recognized any of them..it's getting dark and I lost track of my boyfriend.

Tried dialing his number.No one picked up.I know I'm lost.To add to my anxiety,I don't know where I am.I'm getting panicked.I couldn't get out of here.

I continue walking till I reached to several doors.I knocked on the 1st door.No one answered...I continued doing the same to several more doors..by the 5th door,I heard thumping sounds.I knocked on the door.The sounds ceased.

My boyfriend answered the door,he was half naked.I peeked behind him.I saw "the other woman" behind him,wrapped in white sheet.

I started to palpitate.Anger,dissappointment,rage,disgusted...all the imaginable feelings.As soon as I was about to do harm to my boyfriend's face...I woke up to another dark room.
All sweating as if I just finished a marathon,I realised it was just a dream.

I had the same dream for 3 days.

Which came true in the end.

A Must See..

It's cute..I love it..thinking of getting a dragon as my pet...Where can I get one?

Old memories

Looking back at my old entries, I realised it wasn't so bad. It was kinda interesting..Looking back at my students days..when I was still wondering where would I be in the future?How different things are these days..how things changed.How I have changed.How I used to be in a constant fight or disagreement with some people,which I gladly reminisce,just because I don't see her anymore these days or probably never will..Amin.

How depressed I was after my father's passing..still feeling it though.Remembered when I started my O n G posting during student days.And come to think of it now that I have survived the 'real' O n G dept as a housemen.To think that now I am in my third posting.

Life goes on...no matter how your heart breaks,how hard things got,time waits for no one.

Brainless misi

A group of HO's having exam.A good MO helping them out by teaching and leading them to answers.At the same time,there's a CME going on next door,got 'makan-makan'.However unable to start because the quota of MO present not enough.Misi2 sibuk nak makan je.

Misi : Dr. K**,what are you doing here?Go next door CME lah.Can't start now because not enough MO..

MO : Cannot lah.I have to take care of my housemens.

Misi : All this while we(as in the lazy bums) 'jaga' them exam.Where got MO 'jaga'?

MO : Cannot-lah.You all 'jaga',you all lari go makan..and leave them alone here.How can?My housemens felt neglected.No wonder they cannot pass..

Misi : You also stand here for what?Give them answers ha?How can lah?

MO : Where got give them answers?I teach them what...

Misi : Alah,no need to teach them lah...

MO : Where can??

New stuffs

Shall I invest in a digicam?

On my first pay,I invested for a queen size dunlopillo orthorest mattress.Which turns out to be a good investment.I thought of a hot tub next...Hehe,don't know where it will fit in my tiny apartment.

My first day in clinics.It's like when you're in a nightmare,wondering through the dark without proper guidance.Occasionally being told when and where to turn or walk.

I'm satisfied today.Had my fair share in being a bitch and a good samaritan.Good samaritan as in helping out some friends in need.Bitch as in,on the roads.
Some guys just couldn't stand when women drives...

Having one of my pre-call depressions..

The Drive

Do you know the feeling we get when the holiday is over?When our escape from our real world was over?The trip back to the real world..the inner feelings that we need to fight off during the journey back.The urge to actually turn back while we can..and truly escape.

I had that today

I speak again

I'm finally speaking again..after a long silence.Guess that many things had happened during the period of silence.

I've been at a point where I almost gave up blogging.No actually,I gave up for quite some time.Don't exactly know the reason why I'm back here.

Life is still the same.Same pressure maybe in different forms.I am still feeling trapped.Haven't changed much in my way of thinking.Still a failure in being a positive person.Currently in my second posting.Not sure whether I will be extended or not.

Seeing the priviledge Malaysians sometimes ungrateful of what they have.Too arrogant after getting so much.Seeing the transformation in individuals who lost the battle in keeping their personalities,identities...due to workload,pressure,stress..I'm talking about doctors.Those who work long hours till they are no longer themselves.Lack of empathy..Changed into a zombie,a monster who cares nuts.

And yet we still have the one Malaysia clinics...

A Sister let loose with a HO

Sister : Doctor,do you know what day is it today?
HO : Saturday...
Sister : Good.Do you think that any anest MO is coming to give an epidural to a patient?
HO : Those who are oncall??
Sister : this is a Saturday.No Anest MO would come to give and epidural to a patient.And furtheremore the patient's os is already 8cm.Use your brain-lah!
HO : .....