Short Vacation

Today I went to Langkawi for a short trip.The last time I went Langkawi was in 1995.A lot of things has change.As if I can still remember how Langkawi looked like more than 10 years back!

Anyway,I'm glad for today's trip even though it was a brief visit.Took alot of energy.Came back with a headache and throbbing eyeballs.

It was a spontaneous decision to go to Langkawi to join the lecturers.We were talking about it during breakfast.Didn't make any confirmation and just went ahead.The weather was really good(if you can call that warm weather is good,plus the blue sky).We were sent by the driver to the Kuala Perlis Jetty and board a ferry immediately.Seemed that there's already a ferry that was about to leave to Langkawi and not packed.There were still some seats left.The boat ride took around 40-45 minutes.Kinda boring and they were showing the movie "Nana Tanjung 2".Wasn't really paying attention.When we arrived,the lecturers went to buy chocolates.Since it's a duty-free island,the expensive chocs are really cheap.I wouldn't say cheap but really affordable.We didn't buy anything because we were afraid the chocs would melt by the time we reached Kangar.After that,we had lunch in KFC at the jetty itself.Bought the return tickets and rented a van along with the driver.

First stop was some "Minyak Gamat" outlet.Some traditional medicational oil made by some species that lives in the water.I don't really understand the whole thing,so I can't explain it well.The oil can be used in various conditions.It seems that you can heal wounds with it,make your body feel warmer and nicer with the hot oil,and many more.Don't ask me to elaborate on this.It really was a warm day.Imagine if we were to go Langkawi and rent a car and we drove ourselves around,I think we'd be lost.Unless we were planning to stay then we'd have the time to find the roads.

Next stop,Langkawi cable car.Scary?Maybe.Because the cable car is supposed to pull you uphill.700 metres above sea-level.My guy friend was showing signs of fear.Maybe we were too busy laughing at him that we didn't realise that it really was steep.On the top,we can get a spectacular view of the surrounding hill and the island itself.Really breath-taking.Nothing much,we were just enjoying the view and took pictures.Had a drink and ice-cream and went back downhill.

The original plan was to go to a beach.Any beach,recommended by the driver or go to crocodile farm.I've been to the crocodile farm.More than 10 years back.Honestly speaking,it was nothing like the ones I saw in Medan.Such humongous crocs,sadly was not well kept.(In Medan).However the ones in Langkawi maybe much smaller in size but well-kept.The driver told us that we already missed the croc show.By the time we reached there,there was nothing much to see.So we decided to go to the bird park instead.More like the wild life centre.The trip to the beach had to be cancelled,because it seemed that one of the driver's family member just passed away and he was in a hurry to go back to Pahang.

In the bird park,we saw various birds and some animals that we only saw in tv.Among the things that I could remember,I was shocked to see how small a mousedeer is.(Pic above).Some parrots,macaw,otter,monkeys,sloth and some lazy fella on a tree panting like mad.I couldn't remember the species.I'm not much of a fauna person.

While waiting for the driver,some girl(who was a salesgirl in the souvenir shop) was asking me on how to become a doctor.How to apply for the medical course.I may seemed insincere(in my opinion) but I guess I'm more of shocked and scared,to be asked question like this.Sometimes I think that my experience are not valid to be taken as an example.

Next stop,back to the jetty.When we reached it's already about 5pm.Was rushing to the toilet and bought our share of chocs.And off we board the ferry and head back to the mainland.Went for dinner in a nearby nasi kandar place and back to our room.We were dead tired...It was a nice experience.God knows,when I will ever go to Langkawi.I'm glad that I took this opportunity.

EAP

The fourth week of my pediatric posting begins.I am not sure whether we are having the mid test tomorrow or not.I guess in this world we can never find a properly sane people.I am not saying perfectly sane.Each and everyone of us must have some mental defect somewhere.Just for some people it needs time to be discovered.

Today,one of those people who has labelled me weird bumped into me while me and several other friends were having a meal at a nasi kandar hawker's stall.I was not sure what's going on.But I made myself promise I'd be nice.So I put on a nice smile.And as usual no smile for me.I guess I was expecting.So she didn't think it was necessary to hide her thoughts of me then I guess I'd be myself.When the mood is right,I'd be an angel.When the mood is wrong,I'm not sorry for being a jerk.

Other than that,my health hasn't reach the comfortable stage.Somehow it's always aching somewhere.Maybe it has something to do with what is in my head also.The stress.

Today also I came across an article in yahoo of a mysterious fella who placed 3 roses and an empty bottle if I am not mistaken on Edgar A.Poe's grave every year on the writer's birthday.I have read a few of his works in the past.I am not much of a poetry person,so put aside the poems.I don't understand poems.But I've read some short story about some guy testing some wine and got stuck and died in the wine cellar,if I am not mistaken.
So today,it made me searched for his works.Short stories for me.I am really fascinated with "The Tell-Tale Heart".I guess that I will make a point to read more of the short stories.Nicely put.
So currently I am a Poe's fan.

???

Supposedly when it's your significant other's birthday,you celebrate it.Either with his/her families,friends,or privately(just the both of you).Here's what I did,he was at home not feeling well..and I was 2 hours drive away from him also not feeling well.Haha.With no greeting cards or presents for him.Just several phone calls and smses.What a way to celebrate a birthday?Same thing happened when it's my birthday last year.He went out for a drink with his friends while I discovered I got chickenpox!I don't know when will I ever celebrate anything properly with him.I miss him so much.

Anyway,it's been a hectic week.Let's not go to the details.I haven't really recovered from my exhaustion.
It's my aunts wedding today.In Jakarta.And I wasn't there.
So many things are happening around me.But I guess I'm stuck in my world.

Another someone I know.Not the previous one.Another one.As usual,I wouldn't really call her my friend.I've known her since my matriculation days.I get to know her properly when we were in the same program.Honestly,I don't like her at all.
She's another know-it-all and a well-known liar.We call her 'ayam sakti'.Hehe.Because she can get away with everything she did.She's selfish most of the time.We are just tolerating her.
Currently she made us felt nauseous.With her flirtings with the doctors.

I really don't like girls.

Weirdo

I only see this label in tv's or in story books.It seems the term is applied to me nowadays.First impression,it was hurtful.After a moment,it felt nice.Because that means I'm different from those who labeled me with that.It is a nice feeling to know that you are unique,different,with a different set of mentality,perspective of life and etc..

Takes a lot of work and brains to understand me.Despite the weirdness I possess,I think that I can mix with people.Cold at first...but it will grow out of it.
Only few of them that I can really share my real self.

Currently in the mood to watch old,80's or early 90's romance movies..but I have none.The songs are nice..

Keep Moving Forward

All I can do for the time being is to stay alive and keep moving forward.Swallow the bitter taste of life at the moment.Just to make sure that I'm not stuck when everyone else is moving forward with time.Time waits for no one.

I guess I am worried of my finals for medicine posting.It's one of the scariest finals.Because the scope is very wide.And my dad just reminded me that I need to do extra work in the medical wad.To keep up.When I am already lagging so much.I don't know exactly when is the test for me.But must prepare from now itself.The reluctance to take a step forward,is bothering me so much.Why can't I push myself to prepare?Or that have I already given up so fast without giving a fight?The thought that I might fail even before I took my exam is really pulling me down.
Right now I just need the push to take that step and maintain on the right road.Pray that I get it soon before it's too late.

Other than that.I think I am getting a lot of things in the pediatrics wad.Good doctors.Made us want to study willingly,instead of forcing ourself to study out of fear.
Except the patients.Most of them are annoying.
It's like a big family in the wad.Where the specialist is the mother or the father,reminding the big sisters/brother(MO),guiding the middle child(HO),and us the youngest child(students).
It doesn't feel like that in the medical wad.Except with the nurses.They are by far the friendliest group of nurses in the 3rd class medical wad.Very nice,helpful people.

Some of the group members went on leave as they please.With all sorts of reasons.I honestly doubt the excuses they gave.But certainly,it's none of my business and my new year's resolution is to improve.I need to improve to stop worrying about other people's affair and just worry about myself.I'm worried of dad.At least my father is sick,for real.How I'd wish he's healthy and not sick for real.

I am Exhausted!

This is so far the most tiring department.But I like to be here.We have very nice pediatricians.Good ones.Despite the swollen calfs we have everyday.Due to long hours of standing.

Trying to bury myself in my busy-ness.So that I have no time to pay attention to the antics of the people around me.But I still have alot of catching up to do.Doing my best to be positive.Ignoring several bitches who's trying to annoy me.

Other than that,everything is still stagnant.Nothing new.Met all kinds of kids.Which I honestly must say that I don't like kids.I guess that my instinct to be a mother hasn't develop yet also that I'm not patient enough.

When I become a mother,I want to educate my kids properly.Must teach them good manners.I don't want people to be cursing he/her.

Someone I Know

I wouldn't call her my friend,frankly speaking.She's someone I know.Period.I knew her few years back.She's my senior.The thing is,all this while for those who's close to me,they know that I am very particular about people.I practically don't like anyone at all.But I do my best to tolerate and be nice.I know that they are humans and no one is perfect,including me for being so picky and cold most of the times.Imperfection is tolerable but her imperfections is so intolerable.You know what I mean?Meaning that it has gone beyond my ability to be able to tolerate.Shockingly,I am not the only one.So the defect is not in me.Not my fault.I honestly think that I've done my best.To be patient,not to utter any sarcasm that is usually my nature.I have grown in some ways.I have learnt to be silent and ignorant.Imagine the nicest and softest of all people in my hostel also can't stand her.Something is wrong.WITH HER.

What she's like?First and foremost,she's a know-it-all.If she's smart and a know-it-all,we can't blame her.She's a know-it-all and also not smart.Let's be nice and exclude all the bad words that can describe her.And she always think she's right and it's her duty to correct everyone.And everyone must listen and agree with her.A big headed person that can't stand if someone is right about something when she is wrong.Can't stand it if doesn't know about something.If that is applied academically,it's good.But it's for the wrong cause.For me,if there's a person like this in the past,I'd probably go to war against her.Currently,I learnt to shut up.

Once,she corrected me about some terminology that the local used for some disease.I am a local.I should know better than her.(She's a foreigner).Even if I am wrong,out of courtesy,she should just shut up and keep her opinions to herself.At that time I was down with the disease itself.I was terribly sick and not in the mood to fight and I just gave her a blank look.I think that was one time that she understands that I want her out of my face.

There was so many times she did the same things over and over again.It seems like she didn't realise why people ran away from her.She thinks we are the pathological ones.While the one with the psychiatric problem is her.Another incident was,she told me that I can't consider myself that I have one illness just because I didn't do one of the diagnostic investigation.A specialist told me I have it,and the examination is invasive,and the specialist decided for me to try the medication and if I response to that medication,meaning I have that illness.And I responded to that medication.So I have the illness,without going through the invasive examination.Honestly,no patients would want any invasive examination.And she haven't graduated as a doctor yet.I wonder how is it like when she's a doctor.Beware people!

A friend from her group told me.That she doesn't like to be laugh at if she did mistakes when presenting a case.Got temperamental when corrected too.Maybe she felt she's the smartest one and no one should laugh at her.There's many other things.I could go on and on.

I pray that she realised what she did to us.What made us all ran away like tonight.Oh yeah,she always wanted to go for dinner with us.When she called tonight,I refused to answer.Just not in the mood for her to be around.So I went for dinner with other people,when we reached the hostel main door,the hostel van arrived.She stepped down from the van and all of us ran like mad up the stairs.And God,it was truly obvious.That we are running away from her.Right now,at her yahoo mesenger status,she stated that the world is a liar.Hehe.Obviously she knows,we ran away from her and that we don't want her around.

I hope she realised.Without having us to tell her.If we tell her,definately she won't be able to accept it.If she realises,in time,there'll be no more damage done.

Doctor Why Why Why

For this week's pedaitrics posting,as usual an Indonesian pediatrician will come.This fella is the kind who likes the word 'why'.He'll asks why for just about everything.To some extend it is annoying and intimidating.He expects us to know every reason for everything.Fail to realise that we've only been in the department for 2 days!We are still blind,still trying to plant our feet firmly on the ground.All of us dreaded the hours we spent with him.

Health minister has resigned.I think it's a good move.Though it's hard,but it's the better for him.Rather than to keep serving the people whilst all of them will be in doubt of him.Whether he can still serve the people well or he will bring such behaviour to his every moves and decisions.Maybe luck wasn't on his side.I am sure there are many other politicians who did the same things that he did,but are just lucky enough not to get caught and exposed to the public.Somehow,I pity the wife.For her to keep up her head high in times like this,when her husband's adultery was exposed to the whole country,it's very hard.I pray that she will be strong.Let's hope the people and reporters are able to respect their privacy to recover from such blow to their family.

It was a hectic day for me.Frankly,I am exhausted for the past few days and couldn't sleep easily.Tonight,we have a cerebral palsy case,reminded me of Stephen Hawking.

Doctors With Ego

All doctors have their ego.Healthy ones,normal near to tolerable ones and pathological ones.Most of the pathological ones are a real pain in the ass.Everything we do or say,we must consider their feelings first.Or else,we will get into trouble.He or she most probably will give us,students, a hard time.This is what medical students face everyday.Not only physical stress but also mental stress.

Doctors.We are the ones with the longest duration of study before we finally get our degree.Where everyone else is already working for several years and have a steady income.They can already buy a car.Start a family.And we,will still be students trying to finish the degree.Doesn't have not much time for anything.Starts work at 8 and finishes at 5.But I doubt we can actually go back exactly at 5.With all the ward works.And not to forget oncalls.And to start again at 8 in the morning the next day.To be able to sleep is already a heaven.Not much of a social life.Why isn't there a 'Doctor's Day'?It's not fair that only the teachers have it.

Right now I can think of a hundred reasons why I should quit med school..But I couldn't think of a reason why I shouldn't quit.

Heard the latest news,that our minister of health was 'caught-in-the-act'.Having some fun with a younger female.The boys are busy finding the clips in youtube.Is he a real doctor or a Dr of PhD in psychology?By right,he should be sacked.Not a good moral example not just to doctors,even the politicians.It is better if he steps down willingly.What an image to portray of those who works in the medical field.Too much of Gray Anatomy I think...

Cheap Guys

We always hear about the girls being cheap.It's one of the most interesting gossip topics anyone would like to talk of.Mainly to criticize the girl.Anyway,I think the guys are also becoming cheap.In exactly the same way what all those girls did.Attention-seekers.
Making all the weird sounds.It sounded like the rat.Just to make the girls turn their heads and look towards them.If they were to turn and looked,of course they will be considered easy.And those who don't even turn to look will be called obnoxious.Never mind that.Doesn't matter what they think.But it's bothersome.Doesn't that also counts as an assault?
It's not fair,that guys can get away with it and girls will be forever consider cheap.

Happy New Year!

Welcome 2008.
I never really properly celebrated new year.When we did,it turn out horrible.The whole family had dinner in Parkroyal KL.We parked the car in Sg.Wang and crossed the road.After dinner,to get back to the car,we got stucked in the massive drunk crowd that gathered for some chinese show in front of Sg.Wang.Really had a rough time.No one would let us through.Perverts leaning up to you.Just up to some point where I lost my head and gone hysterical,everyone turned at me.Dad pulled me to safety and finally somehow we found a way to the inside of Sg.Wang.That's terrible.Other than that,we just celebrate at home by watching tv.Not much of a celebration,I know.But better than getting stuck in those crowd and wasting your energy for nothing.

As for this year,it's my first time celebrating new year not with my parents.I am in Perlis.And there's nothing much of a 'happening' activity.Except the well-known 'mat rempits' of Kangar.Which is becoming a culture here.And those who's currently posted in Forensic will most probably get cases due to MVA(motor vehicle accident).Gory post-mortem!Where the liver or spleen split into 2.And cause internal haemorrhage.I was oncall today.SAD.However we had some sort of a cookout.Grilled seafood(fish and some shells).Was ok.I'm pretty scared because the last time I got acute gastroenteritis was because of eating some seafood.Haih,let's pray that history doesn't repeat.

New year,new department.More hectic.But the people are nice.So far.Hehe.Currently I'm doing my pediatrics posting.Hope everything goes well.And that I will learn alot.
Except the part where the kids are having a crying a.k.a screaming your lungs out competition.That is not cool.It hurts your ears.Several people didn't show up.Don't know whether the excuses are true or it's just a scam.Anyway,new year,let's not make that my business.

As for my new year's resolution.I honestly haven't given much thought.But I guess the main thing is IMPROVEMENT.Improvement in all aspects of life.It's more generalized and applicable in all sorts of situation.
And I hope that I will stick to it.