Abit of Moral Lesson

Last Saturday,our university held the convocation.One of the students who went for convo,died the next day(Sunday).She was believed to be murdered and the suspect is her own boyfriend.Her body was found on Sunday itself and brought to the hospital for post-mortem.I am not sure the findings and the progress of this case.Because I only heard of it from people.However,come to think of it,imagine how her parents would feel.Freshly graduated,just one day,haven't even worked as a doctor and found dead.People said her parents were hysterical.Which parents wouldn't be?Maybe the ignorant ones,but let's forget about those kind of people.
What I wanted to say is that,all throughout this week,I thought like I'm having a major problem,that God was testing me and I felt that it's cruel,when someone else,is tested severely at the same time.We don't know people,in some other place might be having a much more worse problem than we do.I have so much to be thankful for.Even though that I feel my surroundings sucks,I must always remind myself that this isn't so bad.Not bad enough to kill me.Suffer?Definately..But sometimes we need sufferings to bring our feet back down to earth.

Blurry

Everythings so blurry
And everyones so fake
And everybodys so empty
And everything is so messed up
Pre-occupied without you
I cannot live at all
My whole world surrounds you
I stumble then I crawl
You could be my someone
You could be my scene
You know that Ill protect you
From all of the obscene
I wonder what your doing
Imagine where you are
Theres oceans in between us
But thats not very far
Can you take it all away
Can you take it all away
When ya shoved it in my face
This pain you gave to me
Can you take it all away
Can you take it all away
When ya shoved it in my face
Everyone is changing
Theres noone left thats real
To make up your own ending
And let me know just how you feel
Cause I am lost without you
I cannot live at all
My whole world surrounds you
I stumble then I crawl
You could be my someone
You could be my scene
You know that I will save you
From all of the unclean
I wonder what your doing
I wonder where you are
Theres oceans in between us
But thats not very far
[chorus]
Nobody told me what you thought
Nobody told me what to say
Everyone showed you where to turn
Told you where to runaway
Nobody told you where to hide
Nobody told you what to say
Everyone showed you where to turn
Showed you where to runaway
[chorus]
This pain you gave to me
You take it all
You take it all away...
This pain you gave to me
You take it all away
This pain you gave to me
Take it all away
This pain you gave to me


Frankly,I am in a mess.My one and only true friend had left me.Been trying to hide it from people for quite sometime.I'd say I am doing quite well sealing it.Managing it while having 2 finals in a week.Couldn't possibly talk to my parents about it.Honestly,I was on the verge of getting very hysterical.My surroundings are not helping me.Used to have people around to hang out with me,just to make me feel that I have company.Those people abandoned me for some other people.New friends,and they've forgotten me.Such fake people.When they want something,they'll come back.Thank you God,I've learnt the hard way to manage my feelings on my own and YOU gave me the success of passing both exams.That's my reward.If my heart is meant to get hurt all the time,I accept it.

A Quick Recap

So many things have been going on,just going to list a few that I still can remember:

1. Went back KL for the weekend.Arrived in Pudu at 4.30am.I thought that bus supposed to arrive around 6am,so that made it easy for me to take LRT and go home straight away.So,lepak around in a mamak shop until it was 6am.Went to the LRT gate,and it's not opened yet,so had to wait.Met dad later and he was in a sad condition.I refuse to elaborate further.Anyway,on the same day itself,my grandfather passed away.So most of the family members went back to Ipoh that night itself.Mum and I,didn't go.We took care of dad.And no one could sent me to the bus station on Sunday night.So mum did.Thank God that she could manage to go home safely.Initially,I thought my bus was at 11pm,met my friend who's on the 11pm bus.I was happy.Luckily I checked,I'm supposed to board the 10.30pm bus!

2. I called our beloved supposed-to-be guardian in Kangar to fetch me at 4am.Called so many times,and the irresponsible creature didn't pick up the phone.So,I had to take the taxi for rm10 for such a short distance.Thank You God,that I'm still alive and well.

3. Got to know that morning itself,that one of the students attempted suicide by taking 50 tabs of paracetamol,3 strips of acyclovir,Loratadine,Ampicillin..etc.The reason is probably some misunderstanding with her boyfriend.I don't want to get involve.Call me ignorant or heartless,I've got quite a taste of it being involved with this people.

4. For the hectic week,with 2 finals in a week,Thank You God,I passed both exams.

Currently I'm in the surgical posting.I'm determine to start fresh and make the rest of the postings interesting.

18 days later

I've been busy.And I've also been in the dumps lately.The 'week' that I've been waiting for months is finally over.The week where I'm supposed to have 2 final exams.Both medical and neurology.I don't know how I did,the results are not out yet.I'm just simply relieve that it's over.Side effects from all this stress is severe headache,which I am still having now.Will be in here more often after this,I hope.

I'm Pissed-full

My boyfriend once said that I'm very pessimistic.I'm against practically everything in this world.Everything seemed to piss me off.All my entries are just about negativity.As for today,itself:

1. This morning,our asshole driver went off to send people for breakfast and didn't turn back to take some of us,who's just a bit late(I was in the toilet,stomach ache).When we're early,he's late.When we're a little bit late he acts as if we're really late and yelled at us.Really uneducated.Acts as if he knows everything.

2. The van that sent us to the hospital is cramped,so for 3 seats,4 people will sit on that row,some girl asked me to move all the way in,because she didn't let anyone sit beside her boyfriend.No courtesy to move further in!To let others sit.

3. Plastic face was acting all smart like usual.But I don't know why that lately whenever I looked at her I just felt disgusted.

4. Our visiting lecturer kept telling that we're doing clinical in a hospital with not many neuro cases.And again the same issues of that we're not able to manage the patients on our own.For your information Sir,not everyone who's doing clinical in your place is smart just because they can manage their own patient.Duh~

5. I think I must have fainted today.I slept from 2pm to 6pm.Without getting up in the middle of it.Feeling remorse after that for not using my time wisely.

6. I was reluctant to clerk or examine patients during oncall.

7. Mum called telling about the nurses in HUKM.Tell me,how can a patient afraid to pass motion just because he knows that the nurses will ignore him,if do so?Don't want to clean it up and when you buzzed them,now it takes more than 30 minutes for them to attend to patients?What a bunch of bitches..Florence Nightingale will commit suicide when she sees her colleagues had turn into self-centered bitches.

By the way,to sum up what Dr Ismail Merican said about treatment towards the patients:To treat the patients the way you want to be treated,to treat them like as if it's your family,must also treat with kindness...Well??